4:20AM Half-Pound Burrito
Last night I was up late helping a friend with a web site project. And by late I mean almost all night. Instead of being up late at home working like I normally am, I was at his office with the lack of a well stocked pantry and fridge like I am accustomed to. Several times during the night I was like, "man I am hungry, I should make a run to get some tacos."
I fought all the urges and just downed soda that was stocked in his office.
On my way home I knew that I would get home and lay in bed and even though I would be exhausted, I would be more so hungry and it would keep me from sleeping. So decided to stop by my favorite fast food Meximerican place, Del Taco, and get me some grub on.
When approaching the drive-thru speaker all I could think about was the Jack in the Box stoner taco commercial were the bobble head Jack tells him to order 30 tacos.
Luckily for me I don't have a Dan bobble head and so I never felt tempted to purchase 30 tacos. But at the same time, I knew a single taco would not hit the spot.
I decided to purchase a single half-pound green burrito. Ninety-nine cents of goodness that would hit the spot.
While waiting for the burrito I discovered I had a $5 bill, no singles. I didn't want to dig up the change, so I opted to pull out the debit card. Then I noticed something that struck me a bit peculiar, my half-pound burrito was being placed on a scale. I have ordered countless numbers of these for myself and my wife over the years, have I always missed that they hand weigh every single half-pound burrito they make?
I was quite astonished. But then I got a special treat... my freshly weighed burrito was bagged and handed to me with a message of, "Don't worry about it bro, come back again soon." My burrito was free.
But not only was it free, it was about double the size of a standard half-pound burrito. I was stoked. This truly what I would expect out of a 4:20AM burrito. It was, A) free, B) hand-rolled, and C) a munchy killer.
The burrito was large enough to survive the entire 10 minute drive home. I had to finish it in the kitchen. I contemplated throwing the end of the burrito in the trash I was so full. If you have ever eaten a single half-pound burrito you should know that it is not humanly possible for a standard issue burrito to fill you up like this. It may satisfy you, but it will not have this effect on you. Ever.
Why the hell did they weigh it? Seriously, why bother? I assume it's company policy. Has anyone ever sued them over a burrito coming in underweight?
I wonder if I could complain for an overweight burrito? Maybe I have some rare condition that I can not feel the sensation of being full, nor can I perceive if the amount of food I am consuming is of normal portions or not, and I require a dietitian to measure out all of my food. But, it's 4 o'clock in the morning and my dietitian is sleeping and I do the only thing I can think of... I drive to the nearest Del Taco where I can order a burrito that is measured out to be exactly one-half pound. A perfect amount of beans, cheese, green sauce, and tortilla. But sadly the burrito was made three times the correct size (yes, the burrito has grown the more I think about it) it gives me a serious tummy ache.
I am not complaining, just throwing the "what-if" out there.
The true story really ends with me falling asleep rather quickly and having a decent blog entry about it the next day.
Thanks 4:20 half-pound burrito. You deserve a "Mission Accomplished" banner to be hung in your honor.